We all went up to see Ryan today and it was an interesting visit (yes, he loves his purple shirt!). Mark and I thought he was quieter than usual but we were able to visit with him some before the family meeting began. Connor and Kelleigh were happy to see him and it appeared to be mutual. Following the family meeting only the parents meet and the boys (and siblings) go out to prepare for lunch and visit. When I went to find them for lunch, Ryan was smoking with the kids right next to him. When I told C & K to go get lunch and gave him my "evil look" he so loves, he (and all the guys around him) knew he'd screwed up and that I was livid. I had explicitly asked him to respect how we felt about that and to not even have cigarettes with him during our visits; he has 6-1/2 days to do as he wishes but respect our time. The house manager and director both knew something was wrong so we talked and Mark was asked to join us. We had promised Connor and Kelleigh that we would go to Starbucks with him so stuck with that plan before heading home. To get across to him that we aren't kidding, Mike will tell him tonight that he will lose his allowance this week (and get only enough to do his laundry), has to call and ask us to visit again when he's ready to respect our wishes, and write C and K a letter apologizing for his choice. Ryan knew that I was upset and apologized when we were leaving. It will be a long road and we've only just begun...
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