Happy Birthday to me!

As anyone who knows me is aware, I really HATE birthdays! The fact this is my 50th is truly hard to believe. I feel as if it should only be maybe my 40th! I've had a lovely day in spite of it between family, friends, and coworkers. Received many calls, great cards, and gifts. I feel very blessed. Thank you to everyone for giving me a day of pleasure amidst chaos!

In Loving Memory ...

Shadow

8/1/99 - 2/23/10

It is with such sadness that I write that Shadow went to be with Grandpa today. He hasn't been well for several weeks and, despite the vet's attempts to save him, he wasn't improving. The last few days he was unable to stand up without difficulty and often needed assistance. It had been weeks since he had climbed the stairs, played with Buddy, or even done his daily "patrols" around the yard. While he wasn't very old, his life before Diane rescued him was clearly difficult. He certainly enjoyed a spoiled and comfortable life these last ten years and we will miss having him in our family. Buddy loved his brother and their routine of treats and games throughout the day. He was with me as we said goodbye to our beloved Shaddie.

I am delighted to write that the Florida house closed today and the check is in the mail! Of course if we hadn't tried to be nice we would have sold the house a year ago and the check would be bigger! It's one less thing to worry about and the buyer really wanted the house so I hope he enjoys it.

It's another drizzly, overcast day which is getting a little depressing actually. The rain is nice but the sun is nicer!

We have successfully completed the first week of Ryan's IOP. He remains enthused about the program and the happiest he has been in years. He is currently working on a homework assignment for it. Tomorrow the kids return to school so it will be a truer picture of our weekly routine. Once he adds homework, the requirement to maintain at least a C average for his school contract, and the meeting/session commitments, things will get tougher for him. We are enjoying our new church and the kids look forward to going. Other than that, Mark is busy grading papers, Kelleigh is working on a puzzle, and Connor is about to go to the park with a friend. I'm enjoying the Olympics and doing laundry!

Baxter goes home

The kids are very sad that Baxter had to go home! They loved having a puppy again as the pictures below show. Ryan was so taken with him and said over and over "he's just so small and amazing - I wish there was a dog that looked like him that stayed that size". Mark said "maybe Ryan needs a puppy" - clearly he's lost his mind. Buddy was the only one who was definitely not fond of sharing me with another living creature and had to be watched the whole time. You'll see Kelleigh in her new glasses and some comfortable sleeping positions that Baxter found. I know there are a lot of pix but it's like having a baby and I couldn't help myself ...

Good thing he's so cute!

As with babies, puppies are cute for a reason! After being up til early this morning with him as he had a bad tummy, some new, gentler food is helping his potty problems. Of course he is now contently sleeping! Buddy is starting to tolerate him better but is not his biggest fan!

Ryan had the dentist this morning and was delighted when the dentist told him what a great job he did brushing his teeth. Last night he came home from his meeting and asked if I would cut his hair off as he's tired of being so hot. For the first time ever, I was trying to convince him to just let me make it shorter rather than buzzed. It was buzzed. Only bad part is now I see the earrings too well but that's another story. He has his weekly counseling appt later and then will drop him at the gym. Will have a decent meal tonight as it's the only night of the week I don't have to get him somewhere at dinner time!

Baxter

How cute is he? He's a 11 week labradoodle but reminds me so much of Buddy when he was a baby. Surprisingly, Shadow is the one interested in him and Buddy isn't playing nicely. Below - Shadow is guarding a comfortably napping Baxter!

It's Tuesday, Mark is back to work, and we're waiting on the arrival of Baxter, the puppy who is having a sleepover at our house while his family goes skiing. I'll post some pictures later as he is so adorable. Buddy will be happy to have a playmate since Shadow still isn't quite up to his antics. Ryan started his program yesterday and so the busy schedule begins. Had a nice time at Jill's birthday party last night and was able to catch up with some friends who I haven't seen in quite some time.

Happy Valentine's Day!

I hope this note finds everyone enjoying their Valentine's Day. It is an incredibly beautiful day here - 83 degrees, sunny, and so Spring-like. Makes me feel sad for all of you in the snow! Mark gave me a very sweet and emotional card and See's candy plus Connor wrote me a note. The kids each got a little item rather than candy this year. I still remember so clearly getting a heart-shaped box of candy from my Dad each year - thanks Dad for that sweet memory!

Yesterday was intense. Connor had 3 lacrosse games at all different times at a local high school so we took turns taking him. Kelleigh had her last lacrosse clinic in the morning. Ryan was allowed to participate in a huge Alcoholics Anonymous convention that the program felt the kids would all benefit from. Speakers from all over California were there, bands, graduates of residential programs, etc. to speak with kids about the benefits of being sober/clean and to let them see you don't have to drink or do drugs to have fun. While another mom and I were hesitant about it, we let them go as one of the staff members was chaperoning the kids all day. The boys reeked of smoke when we picked them up but felt the day was "amazing". They both start the drug program tomorrow and it's been helpful to have another mom with the same lifestyle and views to start it with. Now if we can keep him from screwing up in school again we'll be getting somewhere.

Did I mention that Shadow also got to have an emergency visit to the vet again? Yes, I walked in from the grocery store and he was crying and crying, limped over and wouldn't put his leg down again, etc. The relief vet was called back to the clinic and he now has a very high dose of steroids in an attempt to get the inflamation in his back joints down. All total I give him six meds twice a day for the next 10 days. He has finally eaten and will walk around. He has lost five pounds since last Sunday so has some ground to make up.

Mark is off tomorow and the kids all week. Other than Ryan's new weekly routine, I hope to have a little free time.

Shadow is home and very happy! As soon as they started giving him meds for severe colitis he improved dramatically. He still has a ways to go with eating and the potty issues, but overall a very happy dog. His brother was soooo happy to see him!

Kelleigh is amazed at the difference her glasses made. She told Blanche she thought all this time the tree was supposed to be fuzzy looking! She said she had to primp before I could take her picture so it could be a while! Mine will take some getting used to as there is a very fine line between the three levels.

Shadow did well through the night and has eaten a few tablespoons of food. They are concerned as he continues to have diarrhea despite not eating and drinking for days. He is staying with them and they will call me late this afternoon about whether he can come home.

We met with the AP at Ryan's school. Because he didn't come into the office when the teacher told them to, he has two days suspension. He will not be expelled as he was neither in possession or under the influence (thanks to the drug test proof). His case manager and Student Services rep attended and said he needed to remain at MC since he is starting the outpatient program. They told her his freedom was eliminated as he is to be with one of them during lunch and any free time during the school day until further notice.

I am meeting in person our parent advocate who I have talked with and texted many times in the last month. Mark is off today so he can deal with Ryan while I take a much needed break. Kelleigh and my glasses came in so after they are done at their Valentine Dance we will go pick them up. Stay tuned for a picture of her in them - she is very excited to see again!

Today has to go down as one of the worst days of my life. My eyes are red, raw, and swollen as there have only been a few times throughout the day that I wasn't crying.

First, Shadow. Went late yesterday to get him seizure meds as they have been non-stop since Sunday night. Gave it to him and he puked it up 5 minutes later. After a difficult night of him shaking and refusing to eat, I eventually went upstairs only to come down this morning to an office full of puke and a hallway of poop. Poor thing was a mess and refused to move. Had everyone say goodbye to him as I was fairly certain I would have to send him to join Nermie in heaven. Grandma went with me as we went to the vet who asked that I let him test him at their expense so we would all be confident of such a serious decision. Hence, his blood lab work came back normal as did the body xrays. No explanation for his refusal to put down his back legs or to stand. They gave him a steroid shot, more pain shots, and he was drinking water by the end of the day. He is spending the night at their hospital so they can see how he's doing in the morning.

Next, my friend Caroline. My one bright spot today was my visit with my dear friend Carolyn who is undergoing chemo. Last week she cut her waist-length hair to her shoulders and yesterday had to shave it off. She is taking it good naturedly and remains a beautiful person. We worked with scarves to find different ways to wear them and I brought her some yarn as she's busy knitting hats for herself. She is an inspiration and I'm so proud of her.

Lastly, Ryan. As I was on my way to take the seizure meds to the vet this afternoon, the AP called to tell me that Ryan was in the bathroom after school with kids caught smoking pot. He left campus but the teacher who found them identified him from the school's personnel site. He admitted - eventually - that he was there but didn't smoke. Tomorrow we meet with the AP to discuss his fate but that he couldn't come to school tomorrow. In the interim his History teacher calls to tell me what a pleasure he is to have in class, that he'd only just learned why Ryan was transferred, offer his help as he is also a credentialed counselor, and could he request him for his class next term. I shared with him what had happened hours prior and he suggested we have a drug test done and to take the results with us tomorrow. We did that and it was negative. Mark went with us tonight to the drug support group meeting. One of the women who works at the school and attends the group in support of the kids is going to come to the meeting tomorrow as our advocate. Because he was not in possession they cannot kick him out of the school. Monday he starts the Intensive Outpatient Program and the director has already told him how life on campus would be and where he will report to. Mark is off tomorrow so will go with me.

So ... tomorrow holds the fate of several things. Keep us in your prayers.

Despite the pain meds Shadow continues to not do well. He won't move for hours and hours from one spot, won't eat, tried to bite me this morning when I tried moving him from the bed, and continues to have seizures. I went and got seizure meds tonight from the vet and gave to him when I came home whereupon he promptly puked them back up. Okay ... so much for waiting on them to work before his pain med dose. That at least has stayed down and a little beef broth on his food encouraged him to eat a little of it. It's times like these that you wish they could talk!

Our week has started off on somewhat of a difficult note. We realized Shadow hasn't been acting quite like himself the last couple days and yesterday had several seizures within a very short period of time. He also could not stand without shaking badly so off to the vet he went. They did x-rays to see if he'd fractured his leg or hip but it didn't show anything. Apparently they can become very sore when they have back-to-back seizures as they are so tense during them. He was given a pain shot and came home with more pain meds. He still won't go up the stairs so we have to carry him to bed! He just ate for the first time in two days so we're hoping that means he's feeling better.

Ryan will begin his Intensive Outpatient Program on Monday. The kids are off next week so I thought it was a good time to start the new schedule although admittedly I'm not looking forward to all the driving involved six days a week. Ryan is anxious to start which is a good sign.

Next week we are puppy-sitting a precious 10-week-old labradoodle while his family goes skiing for a couple days. He is already house broken and sleeps through the night. Mark thinks I'm nuts but the kids are excited!

The rains continue to come but it beats all the snow so many of our friends are buried under. I am not cut out to be a cold weather gal so admire anyone who can live in those conditions!

Today Ryan and I went and met with the outpatient treatment director re Ryan joining their program. He explained the huge commitment on the part of the kid as well as the parents. They feel he will either turn himself around or it will decide if residential is really where he needs to be. They basically take over and call all the shots as a 3rd parent. No move is made that isn’t approved by them and the kid’s week is planned out for them during Saturday's meeting. Very intensive and they put up with nothing. He said to expect them halfway through to say they want to quit as they are fine, get fed up with the 'rules', etc. and explained to Ryan if he felt something he had on wasn't appropriate, for instance, he will come to his house and take it away. Ryan is willing to give it a try and wanted to stay for the rest of the group meeting that was going on when we were there so I waited in the car and read. While it’s not how I’d like to spend the next 12 weeks, it’s what we need to do. I am praying we make the right decision.

We had a couple offers on our Florida house and accepted one this morning. It is to close within 2 weeks so that will be one less issue.

A rainy day

It's a chilly, rainy day here which is nice since we need rain. The younger two went to lacrosse during the lull in the rain but dressed a little warmer than usual! Ryan and I have an appointment with the addiction treatment service that leads the group meetings we've been attending. They will do an assessment and we will discuss their outpatient program. It is important to get the kids into something when they are clean and willing to make the change. This will be at our expense but my hope is to be one of the parents who can say the program changed their child's life around. It is an intensive 12 week program with three sessions a week at three hours each plus one group meeting. It's a big driving commitment on the part of the parents but a small price to pay if it works. Mark also attended a drug program sponsored by his school district last week and the information was amazing. The three schools locally with the hugest drug problem are RB, Poway, and Torrey Pines. The drug of choice is the prescription drug Oxycodone - a drug one molecule away from heroin. The new rage is "farm" parties where kids bring prescription drugs, throw them into a bowl, mix them up, grab a handful and take them. It's a scarey time.

Since poor Kelleigh isn't getting any better with her cough, we went to get meds before school today. He was most concerned about her ears and kept looking at them. She's never had an ear infection but said they did feel plugged up Picked up her meds so she'll start them when she gets home from school today. We also have an eye appt. for her today as she can't see the board. I don't think she's real thrilled about getting glasses but would prefer to see! The girls in the house will both have a new look! Was productive after dropping her off at school and got the car tuned up so am good for another few thousand miles. Off to throw dinner into the crockpot so I don't have to think about that all afternoon...

Busy weekend

It was a gorgeous weekend in San Diego! Saturday morning was spent at lacrosse then Mark and I attended John Rosemond's parenting seminar in the afternoon. While I have read many of his books, when it comes to teens his theories are a bit too idealistic. The examples of how to handle a child in a situation were great and, at time comical, but what about the kid who says no and walks out the door. What then? Those were the things that didn't get addressed and I'm sure we weren't the only parents with those type of kids. The kids who would be responsive to his teachings probably weren't there!

Sunday the kids and I attended Maranatha. I will say they have one of the best music portions of a service of anywhere I've ever attended. The kids each went to their age-appropriate 'services' and seemed to like it. Ryan knew one kid and Connor knew a boy from school. Hopefully after a couple weeks they will be more comfortable but all said they liked it. That's a start! Afterwards, Mark and Connor went to the golf tournament at Torrey Pines. They said there was a good crowd despite the absence of Tiger.

Mark is home today as their semester ended and it's the teacher's day to input grades and get lessons ready for next semester. I made a doctor appt for Kelleigh as her cough is no better so will get her meds. Also wrote a letter to Bosch as the dishwasher isn't working again so will see what response I get back. Threatened to go buy another brand so that may get their attention. I've never spent so much having an appliance repaired as that one. Annoying given it was given such high ratings. Did I mention we need to get a new microwave too?! Just love spending money on those things!